This Is Our Reality

There was a very big something that I didn’t mention in my last post that I should have. The state of Connecticut, and the United States for that matter, suffered a terrible loss in the form of a mass killing in the town of Newton, which I am sure you are all aware of by now. What basically came to my mind when I first learned of this tragedy was complete disbelief as well as, ‘Wow, this is our reality’. It is difficult to understand that we now have to fear that our elementary schools and ‘safe’ places have become ‘unsafe’. Movie theaters are unsafe, mall’s are unsafe, subway’s are unsafe, you always have to look over your shoulder when walking basically anywhere.

How can we live freely and in the moment if we are constantly conscious of something like this happening? The sorrow and pain I feel for the parents and families that have lost their little children is unbearable. And the admiration and honor I have for those adults who risked their lives to save as many children as possible is basically unreal. I wonder if I could ever be that brave. Every time I see the faces of those precious children–whose lives were taken much too soon–I feel a pang of grief and guilt. I get to spend the holiday’s with my family and share happy hour’s to celebrate the season with my friends. I am so lucky and wish I could give some of my happiness to these people. I want to be able to share it, but I know it still wouldn’t calm their hurt. How incredibly sad.

2012 seemed to be a year in which there was a lot of struggle. The shooting in the movie theatre, Sandy, now this horrible devastation. I am going into 2013 with the prayer and hope that we can become a more peaceful society and crack down on some political issues we face when it comes to gun control (not going to get into my details or beliefs on this). For now, I keep all of those sweet little faces in my heart and enjoy my day-to-day more because I am so lucky. I wake up in a warm apartment in Manhattan, eat breakfast, walk to work, order Starbucks, have a job in which I learn from and have made beautiful friends, have a family who supports me when I struggle, and have a fun social life. Everything anyone could ever want. I wish I could give some of this to those families — I’d give anything to bring them happiness.

I hope that in 2013, we can all try to help others who are struggling in the ways that we can. Donating food, volunteering here and there (I have started inquiring about this to different places), maybe going to mass a bit more or going wherever it is that you can celebrate your faith. All of these little things can make our world more peaceful – and it’s a start. We can’t solve all crime, we can’t solve political issues, we can’t solve mental instability, we can’t solve having fear, but we can start each day by making a peace or happiness for someone else. Holding the door for someone, tipping an extra buck to the barista, a quick smile, a ‘have a good day’. Let’s make the world a little brighter in 2013. And let’s pray for those who are currently without peace.

-Steph