The other day after work, a few co-workers and I were speaking about the topic of ‘alcorexia’. If you haven’t heard of alcorexia or being ‘alcorexic’, it’s basically a condition where a person will starve him or herself throughout the day in order to save his or her calorie intake for the evening–beers, wine, etc. This is something that is primarily seen amongst women, as we try to consume the least amount of calories but still want to go out to have a good time with friends at night.
I kind of used to partake in this sort of activity back in my eating disorder days. Still, to this day, if I know I am going to be having a few drinks at night, I try to keep my fare maybe a little cleaner and lighter during the day, but I by NO means survive off of a half cup of cottage cheese or a salad of…. lettuce. Not at all. Those are some of the habits I used to live by.
I’m going to put myself out there once again on this blog and show you a picture of before during my eating disorder when I would go out at night with friends and after. The after is actually a picture from last week so this is as real as it gets.
Before, I would consume as little as possible, workout extra long–knowing that I would be burning more calories since I’d be going out that evening, and try to just avoid food at all costs.
I don’t think I look too bad in the above picture, but I don’t look great. I’ve seen much much much worse pictures of myself — and the above is actually a photo during the days where I was trying to recover and have fun. I can look at that picture and know that I was trying. But then, I look at the below picture, the ‘present day’ picture, and know that this is the Stephanie who is truly recovered.
Generally speaking, I’ll have a couple drinks about twice a week on average. Maybe once during the middle of the week and the once over the weekend. I do try to keep it to a sort of happy medium because alcohol makes me bloated, but at the same time, it’s so nice to grab cocktails with the girls after work or have a drink when I am out at dinner. There are weeks where I don’t drink at all–and I tend to really like that.
However, I will never starve myself again over the fear of consuming my calories through alcohol. It just isn’t worth it. It’s more worth it to be able to find that happy medium of, ‘okay, I’ll have a really healthy and filling lunch so that I’m not starving at happy hour and down those fries’, instead of avoiding food to be able to have a few glasses of wine. You have to learn to go with the ebbs and flows. I’m still learning.
Question: Have you ever seen any of the above traits in yourself? Do you become restrictive with eating when you know you’ll be enjoying some drinks later on?
I never did stop myself from eating because I knew I’d be drinking. Instead, I was for a while that girl who would limit myself to a beer or two when playing drinking games. I would tell my friends, “Do you realize there are 150 calories in a single beer.” They would all get mad at me because that’s not who I was, I’m a beer drinkin gal, and it kind of took them the wrong way that I wasn’t being my normal self because of “calories”
I’m glad you’re not in that place anymore — it’s normal to have one too many beers sometimes! Without the guilt or worry!
When I was in the height of my ED days, I was actually terrified of alcohol because of the calories. I didn’t start having a drink or two until I was 21 and way on my road to recovery. These days, if I know I’m going out, I make sure to eat ahead of time and try to drink so extra water. I don’t try to restrict my eating or anything…just go by what I feel, which usually works out well!
Caitlin recently posted..Fun Facts Friday
I totally remember not wanting an ounce of alcohol when I was going through my ED — so glad we are BOTH over that now!
I personally have never been like this, considering I never drank until turning 21 and since then have not really been drunk ever. But I have noticed girls in college who fit this bill totally…
Nikki recently posted..What Will Be Your Space Jam?!
It’s definitely an issue amongst young women.. I’ve noticed it a lot throughout my college years and living in the city present-day.
This such an honest, genuine post! And is chatting about something that is really quite common amongst us girls these days.
It’s all too tempting to limit your food intake to ensure you’re not feeling guilty having a few with the girls, and I’ve totally been there before.
I’ve found since I’ve shaken this mentality, I’m not consumed by thoughts of food or of “being perfect” throughout the day in order to earn my drinks that night, I’m much more content! and much less hungry
We need to remember that we don’t have to be perfect everyday, or any day!
Healthy living is a lifestyle, and lifestyle means we can have a few treats and drinks every week, this is totally fine
Great post!
Kloe @ Running Shoes & Chocolate Mousse recently posted..Running vs. Swimming & the Best Nut Butter you Need in your Life.
I’m glad this post spoke to you, Kloe. It’s true–trying to be ‘perfect’ is sort of useless. Because when you’re busy trying to be ‘perfect’ you’re missing out on a lot of fun!
I totally relate to this ! I look at pictures and can tell I feel so good about myself and was being good to myself and even a few weeks later you can see the difference in how much my confidence levels dropped from either the bloated feeling or not eating enough that day..
kaity @ kaityscooking recently posted..Monday Shmonday
It’s so important to have confidence in yourself — seriously — whenever I am feeling uber confident, I can just tell that I look better on the outside!