The other day after work, a few co-workers and I were speaking about the topic of ‘alcorexia’. If you haven’t heard of alcorexia or being ‘alcorexic’, it’s basically a condition where a person will starve him or herself throughout the day in order to save his or her calorie intake for the evening–beers, wine, etc. This is something that is primarily seen amongst women, as we try to consume the least amount of calories but still want to go out to have a good time with friends at night.

I kind of used to partake in this sort of activity back in my eating disorder days. Still, to this day, if I know I am going to be having a few drinks at night, I try to keep my fare maybe a little cleaner and lighter during the day, but I by NO means survive off of a half cup of cottage cheese or a salad of…. lettuce. Not at all. Those are some of the habits I used to live by.

I’m going to put myself out there once again on this blog and show you a picture of before during my eating disorder when I would go out at night with friends and after. The after is actually a picture from last week so this is as real as it gets.

Before, I would consume as little as possible, workout extra long–knowing that I would be burning more calories since I’d be going out that evening, and try to just avoid food at all costs.

I don’t think I look too bad in the above picture, but I don’t look great. I’ve seen much much much worse pictures of myself — and the above is actually a photo during the days where I was trying to recover and have fun. I can look at that picture and know that I was trying. But then, I look at the below picture, the ‘present day’ picture, and know that this is the Stephanie who is truly recovered.

Generally speaking, I’ll have a couple drinks about twice a week on average. Maybe once during the middle of the week and the once over the weekend. I do try to keep it to a sort of happy medium because alcohol makes me bloated, but at the same time, it’s so nice to grab cocktails with the girls after work or have a drink when I am out at dinner. There are weeks where I don’t drink at all–and I tend to really like that.

However, I will never starve myself again over the fear of consuming my calories through alcohol. It just isn’t worth it. It’s more worth it to be able to find that happy medium of, ‘okay, I’ll have a really healthy and filling lunch so that I’m not starving at happy hour and down those fries’, instead of avoiding food to be able to have a few glasses of wine. You have to learn to go with the ebbs and flows. I’m still learning.

Question: Have you ever seen any of the above traits in yourself? Do you become restrictive with eating when you know you’ll be enjoying some drinks later on?